Friday, February 1, 2008

Finally Moving!

Move day is tomorrow! It seems like the closer I get to the move, the crazier I get. I am very excited because it is happening, and I am leaving this area. Finally! There are times when I thought this day would never come. I also start my new job on Monday. The first couple of days are orientation, and then I think I will dive right in to the OR. I am excited to do OR again!

Hubby is doing better with the move. I think he is almost looking forward to it at this point. He is more relaxed about things because he is not looking for a job anymore, and he is putting a lot of his energy into starting his practice. I think he is getting pretty excited about starting his own business. That is good, and a change from one month ago. There was a time when the only people who were happy in our house were the dogs. And one of our dogs was a little worried. (Our female is a bit of a mommy’s girl and she can be affected by how I feel. She does better if I am around and feeling good.)

In other news...
Hubby and I discussed infertility stuff recently, and he told me that he was trying to figure out how he felt about using donor sperm. This sort of surprised me, because last I heard from him, having a child with his DNA was very important to him. IVF is expensive, and using donor sperm would be a cheaper alternative. Personally, I think we will love whatever child we have, no matter the source of genetic material. But Hubby has to work through this on his own. The male factor infertility hit him hard, and it hit him at a time when everything inhis life was changing. There is also the whole nature vs. nurture argument. People seem to be somewhat affected by their DNA, but the environment they are raised in, and how they are raised also seems to have a large effect on who they are. Science is still trying to figure out how much our genes determine who we are and how we live. I think any child we have would be loved by both of us and be affected by us as parents.

I mentioned the fact that we could choose a friend to be sperm donor, (if the friends sperm was all right), and mentioned some of his friends from college. He thought he would feel wierd asking them, but I have a hunch a couple of them would get a kick out of it. One of the first people I mentioned was his best man at our wedding. He is a big black guy, but both of us really like and respect him. (Both hubby and I are caucasian.) My immediate family would probably be all right with that, but we thought his family might not be able to deal with a mixed race baby. I also mentioned another one of his roommates from college, but he also thought of a reason to reject him as well. (He is also caucasian, but he is too whilny, he said.) Ah well, there is always the anonymous sperm donor. That may sit better with Hubby should we decide this is the path we want to take.

The closest thing we have to compare children to are our dogs. I know, they are not exactly the same as children,but we love our dogs a lot. Right now, they are our children, so that is all I have to compare parentling to. I think we would love any child we had, especially if I went through the pregnancy. I love my husband and I would do IVF with him in a heartbeat, because I would love to have a child of his genetic legacy. But having a family is important to me as well. I am not as concerned where the genetic material comes from. In fact, I am the one who has brought up the subject of adoption, and he is the one who has rejected that option.

I think I will leave the decision for IVF vs donor sperm up to him. I can do either, but I want him to be happy with the decision. We should do this together, so we should be in agreement about what we are doing. We also need to be at a point where we can afford to do something. This infertility stuff is expensive, and right now money is tight. We need to sell our house and get settled in Roanoke, first. One thing at a time.

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