Sunday night musings

I probably ought to try to link with other blogs, but right now the blog feels unformed to me. I am a perfectionist who really wants to do things well. I want a better idea about the blog before I go "public" with it. Besides, dial up connection I have really makes things difficult. I do not know. I think I want to think about it first.

Hubby is sick, and has been sort of sniffly lately. Not condusive to sex, though we may try tomorrow. I spent the day cleaning the house just in case someone wanted to look at it. I talked with the real estate agent, and he said the house was too doggy. Well, we do have two great danes who live with us. That could contribute to the doggy-ness of the house. I spent the weekend vaccuuming couches, sweeping and mopping floors. The house is clean, and smells better, but no one came to look at it. It is sort of discouraging. I do all this work to keep the house clean and hopefully showing well, and no one comes to look at it. I know the market is slow, so I should not feel too bad. but I know I am going to have to do all the same work next weekend. Just in case someone comes to look at the house. The frustrating thing is that I think we are competing with brand new houses in the same area. I have high hopes that we will sell, but we have to get people to look at the house in order to sell it.

The house has been a bone of contention between the Hubby and I. He is worried about what will happen if we do not sell the house. The house may sell better if we are not here. I do not know . We get a lot of older people retiring to the area and I think our house is not what most older people are looking for. This is a fairly conservative area. I hate being stuck with this house. I wish there was an easy way out of this. I have a job, and will likely start in January. This stupid house will keep us in the area, and I hate it.

I hate this area. I hate feeling disconnected from everything. I hate that I cannot have a family and be a normal female. I know there are a lot of other women out there who are going through the same thing, but I still feel like a failure as a female at times. I hate being dependent on my mother for someone to talk to. I hate the amount of stupid people in this area. I was at the Wal-Mart this morning doing my grocery shopping, and I saw a lot of people with blank looks on their faces. I hate being an hour away from anything. My job, my family, and anything else is an hour away. I hate it. Because of that, I have no social life. That and working nights. I have no support system, no regular church I attend, nowhere to go on my off time, no girlfriend to bitch to when I am not happy. I feel like I have nothing out here. I hate it. Get me the hell out of here! One thing keeping us here is our stupid house!

Get me the hell out of this area!