Feeling Edgy

I think I have been so used to being busy and working nights that now that I am neither, I am not sure what to do with myself. Yesterday I could barely sit still. I did the prep work for my big marbling project, but that only took about an hour. I cleaned a little bit, I meditated, I hung out with Hubby and the dogs. It felt good to be able to do nothing, but I am not used to it.

I am meeting my sister today for lunch. I am really looking forward to that. I have not seen her in a while. She goes out of town on a regualar basis, so she is hard to keep up with.

I am tempted to not do anything else infertility-wise until after we move to Roanoke. I doubt Hubby's semen analysis will get any better. But there is a part of me that wants to try IUI just once more. For the heck of it. I think I have a slim hope that maybe things have improved by now. Probably unlikely. I do not think we could handle another semen analysis coming back with 0-1% normal forms. Because that is the case, our best shot will likely be IVF.

IVF feels like a big step for me. It probably has to do with my control issues. I hate being out of control of things. IVF is very invasive for the female. I have to put myself completely in the hands of the MD. Fortunately, I am finding I like my current RE. I will probably stay with him when we decide to go forward with IVF. I would have to travel anyway for IVF because there is no one in Roanoke. We have already had our IVF consult with him, so all we would have to do is contact his office to get started. He says he has people he works with in Roanoke who could follow my cycles.

Hopefully by waiting a few months, I will be able to get my head around the idea of IVF, and my role in it. We will also be able to get our financing in place. I think I am not happy about giving up on IUI, but it appears to be the best thing to do. In the meantime, I can get myself as healthy as possible. I think that will make things easier.