Sunday, May 4, 2008

Moving On

I am taking some time in the calm before the storm. I cannot believe we will actually be moving next weekend. We started packing today and it started to feel real to me. I get to do a walk through the new house on Monday. I am very excited. I plan on measuring for a fridge while I am there. Hubby promised to replace the fridge I gave up from the Tappahannock house. We close on Wednesday, as far as we know. I think we may end up taking a few loads of more fragile things over on Thursday and Friday. The movers come Saturday at 8 AM. It will be nice not to have to do any of the manual labor on this move.

Hubby surprised me this weekend. Apparently, he mentioned our infertility situation to his dad. Hubby said his dad seemed excited about the possibility of our child, no matter the source. Hubby said his dad may be willing to help us financially, if we need it. I think it made Hubby feel better about our options for starting a family. Right now, Hubby is trying to figure out how much time and energy he wants to put into starting a family. He knows about IVF with ICSI, but he is not sure if he wants to put that much time and energy and money into starting a family. It is also not a sure thing. I think the only reason we would try IVF is if he decides that having his own child is very important to him. He has no problems with adoption, but he deals with social services every day with his job. He says he does not want to deal with them on his off time, too. I am willing to go along with that. I think he knows more about that process than I do. He does guardian ad lidem cases at work. Hubby is also looking at donor insemination. He says he is open to adoption, where the child is not his DNA, so he feels like there should not be an issue with donor insemination for the same reasons. I sort of get the feeling he is still wrestling with the idea. I am trying to give him the space he needs to deal with all of this. We also have a lot of other things going, so it is easy for me not to pester him all the time.

There is hope out there for me. Things seem to be brighter every day.


~Jess said...

Thanks for your comment the other day. There is certainly something different about donor sperm, than with adoption.

I wish none of us had to go through this.

SAHW said...

I'm glad things are looking up for you...and I'm so glad about how your FIL responded.

Thanks so much for your comment to me the other day, it really helped me...I guess it makes sense that we're since we're still pretty early in the treatments phase, DH hasn't had to be too involved yet, so therefore he doesn't feel it as much as I do...

Hope all goes well with the move!

VA Blondie said...

Jess, I think we are circling around the idea of donor sperm at the moment. There is definitely a different vibe with donor sperm than with adoption. People in general seem more comfortable talking about adoption than about donor insemination. I am giving Hubby some space on the issue right now. We also have other things we are dealing with.

sahw, I was also happy about my FIL reaction. I had a hunch he would feel that way. Hubby and his da have not had the easiest relationship. More importantly, my FIL's reaction made Hubby feel a little better about the IF stuff. I think it is helping him to move forward some.

both of us are looking forward to the move. We are hiring movers this time (thanks for FIL!) and so we will not have to do a lot of the manual labor. I am sort of looking forward to it!

Trace said...

Yes, donor sperm is a little different. Adoption is just more "accepted" in our society. When you say you're adopting people congratulate you, when you say you're using donor sperm they just look at you.

Anyway, we initially pursued domestic adoption and had a rough time so we decided to try DI. My husband feels very burned by our adoption experience and now actually prefers DI even though I seem to have some sort of fertility issue (pretty ironic, huh?).

Good luck with your decision.

Queenie. . . said...

I'm glad you're feeling positive, and it sounds like you have a lot to feel good about. That's great news about the FIL.

Even though donor sperm is different, I think it might be different in a positive way, because (unless you are using a surrogate), you can choose who you tell, and tell only people you trust to handle it sensitively (although, you can't always predict that, I guess). And, it doesn't have some of the baggage that comes with adoption, like the possibilty of having to deal with the heartbreak of having someone change their mind at the last minute about giving up the baby.
I've only recently given it thought, but both donor sperm and donor embryos seem like a choices I'd be comfortable with, if our own DNA doesn't work out.

Thanks for your comment today, too--it means more coming from a nurse!